Boy’s Suspicion of Terminal Illness Confirmed by Surprise Ariana Grande Visit

HENDERSON, NV — After months of unexplained hospital visits, whispered conversations, and “just some tests” that involved full-body scans and hair loss, 17-year-old Trevor Stills finally began to suspect he might be seriously ill—only after Ariana Grande showed up as his prom date.

“Yeah, I’ve been in and out of the hospital since January,” said the confused junior, who noted that doctors always pulled his parents aside to speak privately and only referred to his condition in Pig Latin when he was in the room. Unbeknownst to Trevor, his parents had requested that all medical staff “sugarcoat or straight-up redact” any language that might tip him off to his grim diagnosis. As a result, Trevor believed his weekly infusions were “really aggressive iron supplements” and thought the Make-A-Wish paperwork was a FAFSA.

So when pop star Ariana Grande appeared at his front door in a stretch limo holding a corsage, Trevor was understandably confused—especially when she called him “so strong,” even though he hadn’t had the energy to lift anything heavier than a Gatorade in weeks.

At first, the acne-prone junior with thick glasses and a Naruto wallet chain assumed it was some kind of elaborate prank. He had only ever been chosen for “Marry” and “Kill” (usually the latter) in F**k, Marry, Kill games on the bus, so the idea that Ariana Grande could have possibly found him attractive seemed deeply suspect—until he remembered she once dated Pete Davidson.

At his parents’ request to ensure Trevor had his medications, Ariana turned to him gently and asked if there were any drugs he thought he should bring. Trevor, eager to impress the pop star, misread the question as a party vibe check. Desperate to seem cool, he rifled through the medicine cabinet and grabbed the strongest thing he had: a Lenvima + Everolimus combination therapy. Usually reserved for special occasions—namely, every night two hours before bed—he figured he could spare a dose or two for the singer. Wanting to prove he was a seasoned partier, he assured her the pills would “absolutely fuck her up,” citing side effects like peripheral edema and elevated liver enzymes.

When Trevor proudly held up the bottle of Lenvima and Everolimus, Ariana froze. She stared at the label, then silently pulled him into a hug. When she asked how much time he had left, Trevor smiled and said they had to be home by midnight.

Moments later, Ariana was overheard in the kitchen quietly asking the Make-A-Wish coordinator—whom Trevor had assumed  to be paparazzi—if he even knew he was dying. After a solemn head shake, Ariana realized she would need to fully commit to the illusion that she was in love with him if she didn’t want to arouse suspicion.

Under the flickering light of a disco ball hung in the cafeteria-slash-locker-room (due to budget cuts), Trevor began to wonder why Ariana Grande had come all the way here. He continued to smell her hair discreetly while trying to work it out.

When asked how she’d even heard of him, Ariana panicked and claimed she’d discovered his Instagram. The account in question features 23 posts: mostly blurry skateboard clips, a few Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and a series of 2020 planking photos—including one of Trevor stretched across a urinal. One post is captioned, “We got him good” and features Trevor's best friend asleep with Sharpie genitalia drawn across his face. The account has 34 followers, one of whom is his former orthodontist.

Ariana, fearful he wasn’t buying her story, attempted a grand romantic gesture, performing a piano-ballad version of “Into You” in the middle of prom, changing the lyrics to include his name and sitting on his lap.

It was only as Trevor tried to discreetly reposition his pants during the final chorus that he realized he was probably dying. And maybe—just maybe—that hotness ranking of Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Miley Cyrus he was asked to fill out wasn’t FAFSA paperwork after all.